Tweet about this Share this on Facebook. Flashback to, what feels like a few hundred years ago, to around the time I lost my virginity.
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Ah memories. At the time, it seemed like everyone was doing it but me. First it was Hannah, then it was Jazz, then Clara. In the months leading up to it, I flicked through countless magazines straight to the sex and relationships agony aunt s. I would read through the horror stories of girls having sex for the first time and then being deserted by their partners or shamed by their friends.
I read stories of STIs, pain and pressure. I read about insecurities about performing well and body image. Was losing your virginity just a painful rite of passage? One of my biggest tips for having a positive first-time experience is being in control of your decisions and your own body.
Your body belongs to you and you alone. Consent should be a fundamental aspect of every relationship you have, whether it be personal, professional or sexual. Do you think things are going too fast?
Say so. Have you changed your mind? Listen to your partner, yourself and your body. Sex should, in no way, shape or form, be something that you are ashamed or afraid of. We generally tend to have a fear of the unknown, so getting to know your body and what to expect can make your first time more enjoyable and less daunting.
You know what they say, if you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail. So, do your research. Watch YouTube videos, read articles like this onetalk to your friends or family.
How to make your first time not hurt
This might sound a little weird but get to know your own body by masturbating. Speaking of communication, before you do anything physically, start having conversations with your partner in order to manage your expectations. Yes, contraception — that boring word that you hear increasingly and rightly so around sex. You should know the different kinds that are available and where to get it from.
On the other hand, condoms are the only contraceptive method that protects you against unwanted pregnancy AND sexually transmitted infections STIs and diseases. So talk to your partner to explore your options, and sorry kids, having no contraception is not an option.
First time sex how to lose your virginity
Do not feel pressured or coerced into losing your virginity because you think it will please your partner. My younger female cousin asked me a really interesting question the other day. I think who you lose it to can sometimes have a big impact on your sexual experiences and habits going forward.
So yeah, bear that in mind. Your first time is a great opportunity to start building healthy habits into your sex life and routine. For example, foreplay.
Foreplay is about caring-giving, paying attention to your partner, checking in on them, listening to their body and reacting accordingly — even if that means stopping- and this comes with practice. Girls, we have a history of being the sole sexual caregivers in relationships. Try and be in relationships that are as equal as possible to ensure you get the most out of your sexual and personal experiences.
In the past, the concept of virginity has been a very hetero-centric concept. What do I mean by that?
Well, it has been perceived as only constituting heterosexual sex penis in vagina penetration — and nothing else. Open your mind.
1. what does “losing your virginity” mean?
For some, certain acts may feel more intimate than others and this may change the older you get. It is possible to lose your virginity more than once, depending on the sex act and it is possible to lose your virginity without penis in vagina penetration. Good luck on your sexual journeys. Go out into the world and be a total and utter badass. Did I miss anything out? Let us know rifemag. For a list of places to talk about contraception options and sexual health, check out the rifeguide.
We offer paid internships and publish work by young writers, photographers, illustrators, and filmmakers from all sorts of backgrounds, helping them get into creative careers. Rife has reached over 8, young people through our workshops, over young people have made stuff for Rife on topics ranging from mental health to identity to baked beansand last year, overpeople visited our website. In these complex and uncertain times hearing from and supporting young people who are advocating for social change and contributing fresh perspectives has never been so important.
Through supporting Rife you can ensure that this important work continues and that more young people have their voices heard. Originally from the south-east, Euella moved to Bristol in to study sociology and has been here ever since.
Close Search. Facebook Twitter Instagram YouTube. Euella gives her top six tips for having a good first time. Consent and Control One of my biggest tips for having a positive first-time experience is being in control of your decisions and your own body. Be Mentally Prepared Sex should, in no way, shape or form, be something that you are ashamed or afraid of.
You may also be interested in. Sometimes we need to look to the past to look to the future, so Kaja has teamed up with Ancient About the author Euella Jackson Originally from the south-east, Euella moved to Bristol in to study sociology and has been here ever since. When I was about 14, I had a crush on Nothing in this About Rife Magazine Curious about who we are and what we do? Have a read of this. Contributors Here are our contributors - the amazing young people that have made all the stuff on Rife. Get Involved Under 24? Send us your ideas.